royaelana.: almost three years in photos

So, I thought to write this (even though it's mostly pictures). I started this blog for myself but also, giving an insight to people about me and what does go in my life..to show that being a mother at this age, isn't that bad. But, it's turned into more than that for me, it's kind of my release as the days get stressful..I always have something interesting to think about in my late night rampages of the interwebs. I hope that one day when Brody is older and can understand, he can go back and look at this blog and realize..he's had an amazing life and to see all the things his father and I have done to provide for him. But this entry isn't about Brody it's about a boy.

No, I never truly thought I'd say this, but I kind of did find someone I guess I could consider my 'soulmate', someone who's seen me at my worst and my best and it goes the same way for him. I came into his life at a awkward, weird time. But, I feel like..that whole situation, made me open my eyes to see that he wasn't just this tough guy, asshole type. That he truly had a heart, and the biggest one. Beneath all of it, he's the most caring person I have ever met. Some people may say, they don't like him, they think he's bad for me or a bad person. But, I can tell you this, Seth Andrew Bias is none of those things. He is an amazing father who will provide as much as he can for our son, if he could, he'd give me the world. And, he's told me more than once. People may say he's a liar, that I'm stupid for always going back to him..but I think that's what you do when you love someone. You go and try to make things work, you would drop people you never thought you would for that person. I'm someone who when I truly care, I'll do anything to fix a situation for the better. I've done that more than once with him. I can't say that I'm perfect, or anything special but I can tell you I feel special when I'm wrapped in his arms.

I hate to think of the fact that we could possibly be 3 hours apart in a month or so, I hate to think that I'm not going to be able to run to him when everything isn't right. I don't think he even knows how much it kills me inside to think about. Because, I don't want him to worry about me..I know he's going to do what he loves, and I know that I need to, no, have to support him 120% of the way.

I think it was yesterday, I was over at his grandparents house while him and Shane were there with Brody. I had gone outside to smoke a cigarette and came back in, all Seth said to me was "Say yes babe" and I stupidly said "No" because he simply told me to say "Yes", not being sure of what he was making me say "Yes" too. But, it was the cutest thing, what I've always wanted. A Vegas wedding and just running off, I'm sure that's how we'll do it, we've talked about it time and time again. Suprisingly, he said this all in front of his brother..for whatever reason I never thought that he would say it to anyone but me. I guess, I was even then proven wrong. I'm constantly proven wrong by Seth, shown how much he does care for not only Brody but myself. I hate when certain people bring up, how much he cares about Brody. I'm here too. And, Seth makes it very well known that I am.