well, the past couple days i had sometime to think, i got an add on facebook that brought me to this point. the person who really ruined me when it comes to any relationship added me, a part of me was rather fearful. this is the person who made me absolutely hate any male, want to do anything to any male that crossed my path. to show them, i could be just as heartless as that person was towards me. the one day i stood up to that person, was the day i walked away completely. all the nasty things that was said about me by this person, was far from the truth. it kind of at times, brings me down that i'm sure there's tons of people in this town that don't like me because of what people have said. then again, i don't let people know me for this reason. and honestly, in the back of my head i'm okay with that. i could be okay with people not knowing me, go on with any assumptions about me just for the reason, i know who i am and that's truly what matters. i've been told i'm a shitty friend, i would be happier with someone who "cares", etc. well maybe it's because you don't like my life and you would rather control every aspect of it because, who knows, maybe you're miserable. i'm allowed to be happy and learn from my own personal mistakes without having someone breathing down my neck constantly. i think in the back of my head, i know that i'm happy with my life decisions, and i'm completely happy and content.

either way, my day today isn't anything exciting and neither was yesterday. just filled with playing with brody and hearing him test out his lungs all day, kind of love it. not gonna lie. currently, all he wants to do is lay on the floor and talk to himself while i enjoy this sick show toddlers & tiaras on netflix. how could anyone ever do this to their children..everything in life isn't based on beauty, or well..that's may only be in my eyes.

this is brody at the moment, i just don't even get how the simple things in life make a child so happy..it's beyond me. but, i do have a second interview today for a second job, i'm relatively happy and confident about the outlook of it. i would really love to eventually do something managerial in a country club, even though it would be a crazy task between being a mom and trying to keep a somewhat life of my own.  but, we'll report later on how that went, possibly tomorrow since tonight jordan will be keeping me company.